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I was always overjoyed to see him, but my happiness was marred by sadness because I knew we’d have to say goodbye too soon.

Even though I was too young to remember what full-time life with my father was like, those goodbyes hurt so much.

Like most little girls, my father was my first love.

I adored everything about him, even how he smelled (like pine trees and lemons).

The sound of his voice on the phone still makes my heart skip a beat.

Some of my happiest childhood memories involved listening to his stories about his Lebanese homeland, watching him play silly made-up songs on his guitar, and riding on the front of his bike to the park. After my parents divorced when I was 2, our visits were limited to every other weekend and summer break.

Less coy is my friend Charlotte, 52, an artist; proud to admit that her romantic relationships have been defined by Daddy.

“I was the pretty little blond-haired girl, after three boys,” she says, “which for my father was quite special.

But I had no idea just how much missing him would impact my relationships with men.

I am now 20 years old and though I haven’t yet entered into a relationship I notice myself being attracted to or having crush on older men who are more than ten years older than I am and look mature and responsible.

Even in high school I don’t usually get attracted to guys who are about the same age as I am.

(When Nigella was small, her father asked if she’d like to go to boarding school. His response: “You start next term.”) Meanwhile, Saatchi’s emotional shortcomings, described by his wife in court as “intimate terrorism”, led to their acrimonious and painful divorce.

Hardly surprising, then, that most women, myself included, shudder at the very idea of confusing the roles of father and lover.




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